

xLike a notice like a beex
a dinner plate pops and i sip and dream...
i miss those days of ruin because i know that is what they were.
i need to heat the memory to know that i
made a right decision.
remember the ride in the country with the song and the felds and the new-ness of our previous motions together?
it was cloudy and i should have known.
it was routine.


daughter4/23/2008daughter
there was a belief that id keep it together long enough to
watch you grow up... but your illness made mine complete in ways that never makes sense to anyone but me... your mother never felt love from me (or anyone) and the resentments
built her nest of silence... our history was a sham and
my veins showed it... and now youre here in front of me and we refuse
to quit giggling: we both know
about love.


sheshe used to talk to me the way i talked to her (shy versus shy) (feelings versus feelings) and thenshe
there was: silence.
more than before i wrote
something for her.
the lights went out and i was alone.
if she knew how i missed her she'd know.
she knows.


to LLand she left w/out saying goodbyto LL
she sits lonely as a
nodding dark stranger
that you fall for from across
the bar.
she doesnt want to be here (obvious) just lifts her bags and
bangs held back with a barrett
she crosses
her legs
w/a knowing breath of fresh air lit by dull cell phone light.
the cigarette and sharing were cold
and i sighed inside.
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